Drag Race Episode 3
ruba walks up, her penis tucked to the high heavens as she prays to her lord "welcum 2 rubas fugly raec and may teh best woomun win xx- The Winner will recieve a headline spot on the Glee Wiki® Pride Tour, a sickening supply of makeup from the Ana Mijatovic collection, and 100,000 puffle points‏ go hunties" she flips her wig so hard it falls off as a montage of her crying, her mascara running, her penis flailing plays over teh ruba fugly race theme. The episode begins with the queens walking in from Lola's elimination. Kitty Titz pulls a fag out her vag and exhales in pleasure when she blazes it, stick it back up her vag and blows the smoke out of her mouth. Kalison Kimanda purses her lips and rolls her eyes as her vagina tighens out of disgust, as Barbara makes her way to the mirror and sees the message left. "fuck that skinny bitch" she whispers before wiping the lipstick off the mirror. --confession booth-- Clara Redwing jumps in joy, her tits bouncing, her dick helicoptering. "THANK FUCK LOLA IS GONE SHE PUSHED ME BYE BITCH. FUTURE OF DRAG IS MOVING ON UP, AND THAT FUTURE IS ME." She blows a kiss at the cam. --Workroom-- "So does anyone have anything they want to say about the end of Lola's career?" Susie says, her horse teeth throbbing, her knuckles popping vigorously. "rest in piss, lola" Lady Ratchet screams at the top of her voice as clara cackles in the distance. "YOU GOT SHE-MAIL" echoes throughout the workroom as the queens make their way to the screen. Ruba's beautiful model-esque face pops up on screen. "You better learn to use those lips, ladies. Otherwise those men wont get their three cents worth, Bayonse. Ciao xo" Bayonse screeches in anger "DID SHE JUST FUCKING CALL ME A WHORE?!?! FUCK RUBA!!!" everyone gasps in shock and horror as Bayonse throws shit and pisses everywhere. Kalison just sits on a chair, clearly bored and over it. Ruba appears and tells them that they're going to lip song to her hit single - 'Burka Buzinezz' feat. Hibo Dahir using cut outs of hibo and ruba, with holes just for their lips. Group 1: Barbara Bobpin, Bayonse, Cleopatra De Boer and Kalison Kimanda Winner: Kalison Kimanda Group 2: Carrie Magee, Cher noble, Lady Ratchet and Susie Shitstreak Winner: Lady Ratchet Group 3: Barbie Buckfast, Clara Redwing, Ginger Vitis, Kitty Titz and Lily Summers Winner: Barbie Buckfast "So, that's it! our winners, Lady Ratchet, Kalison Kimanda and Barbie Buckfast!" the queens all clap sarcastically, rolling their eyes as Bayonse slaps Ruba across the face. "YOU FUCKING SLUT FUCK YOU". Ruba stares in shock as the queens all tighten their assholes in shock, fear and embarrasment. Kalison just fixes her wig in the mirror. "WTF?!?!? IF MY BUDGET WEREN'T SO LOW AFTER HIBO ORDERED ALL OF THOSE BURKAS I WOULD KICK YOU OFF THE SHOW, HUNTY. DON'T TRY ME AGAIN OR I'LL SLAP YOU WITH MY WIG." Bayonse has a fit but everyone ignores her. "Anyway, Kalison, Lady and Barbie. I'll be choosing your teams, hunties." --confession-- Barbie: "I'm swear to fuck if im paired with that skank bitch Clara who made me pay a fucking TREE. Fuck that bitch. and the over-emotional Susie? No tea no shade but... she a dumb bitch." Lady Ratchet: "I'm a fucking queen, I could win this shit on my own." she says as she sucks on a lollipop. --Workroom-- "Okay, so Team one is; Barbara, Carrie Magee, Bayonse, Kalison Kimanda and Kitty Titz." Kitty and Kimanda rub muffs as Barbara rolls her eyes in dissaproval. Carrie just wants Kimanda's poussey. "Team two will be Barbie, Clara, Susie and Cher." --confession-- Barbie: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ME" --workroom-- "And Lady's team will be; Lady Ratchet, Ginger Vitis, Lily Summers and Cleopatra De Boer." Lady turns and faces her team and points at Ginger. "Fat bitch." She then points at Lily "Butch lesbo." and lastly, Cleopatra "Inconsistent cunt." She turns away, facing Ruba, smiling as the queens scoff in anger. Clara and Susie cackle in the distance as Barbie glares at them "FUCK YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP WHORES." barbie screams, slapping Susie. Susie slaps her back as they begin to beat the shit out of eachother. "GO BACK TO PARTY CITY, BITCH." Clara shouts, kicking Barbie in the teeth and snatching her wig. Ruba screams at the top of her voice, shreaking throughout the workroom "YOU UNPROFFESIONAL BITCHES GET YOUR ARSES IN GEAR AND FUCKING GET THIS EXTRAVAGANZA DONE!!" --Team 1; Kalison, Kitty, Barbara, Carrie and Bayonse; Rhenna, Penk, Lordey gags, Jasy J and Nekci Menij, Episode 11-- Kitty as Medoner Kalison as Lordey Gags Barbara as Necki Carrie as Jasy Bayonse as Penk Bayonse sighs "why the fuck am I penk.." as Kalison snaps at her "stfu you pigshit". The scene starts. Bayonse: ok rhenna thatl b 12$ pls Kitty: 12$ for al dese parfect items r u kidden Bayonse: ... Kitty: fyne *hand teh money* Bayonse: hav a nis dey Kitty: thanks and u *walks away* Kitty: rude lesbo bich Barbara: callen all borbz get teh hole penk frondey range $10 for ortograph $20 to squez my boob or as oh hey medoner Kitty: omg were, i, rhenna, am a masiv medonster Barbara: o soray nvm Barbara: w8 rhenna am i higher than a mutherfughgfuhfugfugeuterer or is dat bottel promatin itslef Kalison: gags, lodey gags, fome Carrie: i am very scard *runs away* Kitty: am sad 2 sey its not a hallosination Kitty: helo mutherfucktard Kalison: bettur slash ur prices on ur lady ratchet frogrinces cus fume is here Barbara: gags look at ursulf Barbara: is dis rely wot our careers have becomb Barbara: i sey we ned to get our musc deels bak Kitty: my littel pony just spiled sum troth tae Kitty: we'll trumph ovur bayonse or my name isent rhenna *phone rings* Kitty: hrey its me medoner *babbling on fone* Kitty: rite nvm sunds lyk bayonses plan has gone tits up Barbara: in dat cass am goin 2 put owt a new sing xtines singel is cumin out so the top spot is wid opan Kaison: shit dats tru i shud stert teh artpop campane now Kitty: o pisballs am on teh verg of irrelevonce yet again --Team 2; Barbie, Clara, Susie and Cher; Medoner, Loly Alun, Merier and Kily feat. guest judge hibo as blo ive, Episode 27-- Barbie "OKAY CLARA AND SUSIE DO AS I SAY OR I SWEAR TO FUCK I'LL CHOKE YOU TO DEATH WITH HIBOS BURKA" Clara: "cunt" Clara as Merier Barbie as Medoner Susie as Loly Cher as Kily Hibo as Boby Blo Ive *merier exits teh ablums store, and put a brolly above her head* Barbie: hi merier Clara: helo Barbie: big m Clara: um Barbie: mezza Clara: stop that Barbie: wots with the brolly just shadin urslef like with ur lip sinked shows Clara: 'aculy is to pretect me from ur ablums fallin of teh cherts *albums fall, hitting the umbrella as loly floats in on her are balon* Susie: oops Susie: soray, their cheeper than acuel sandbags Clara: I think medoners got a cpl of those Barbie: now now merier the good sis loly wont want u refensing my lady lumps Barbie: its in bad taste Barbie: woteva the fuck that is Susie: to be quite honest am ova the hole womanist thing sex sels lol Susie: and i dont wana b that 1 girl who goes all poppy claimen to be ironec and is nevar seen agen *actual marina and teh dermonds walks by* escuse me soray Susie: iv had to use my are balon to premote my last 4 singels and it jus dusnt make sens any mor im kool with anything that pays for my ponytales at dis point Clara: too tru gerlfrend even i flashed a tity or 2 in my most recunt hit vido Barbie: wow i dont remembur dat frum al i want for xmas Susie: thers only 1 thing that gets mor attenshun dan boobs Barbie: if i hav to flash my spunge pudin then so be it Susie: i wus guna say colabs but k Barbie: o dat reminds me nekci send me a grindr abowt a whatsapp she candy crushed Phone: Translation: Nekci messages me about a meeting she put on facebook Susie: wot in shesus name was dat Barbie: o its pr0nhub on my vine Phone: Translation: its google translate on my telaphone Barbie: I've got it set on technology to english so i can vaguly understand wtf im doing Barbie: rufly Barbie: 5% of teh tyme Susie: i gess nekci wants us 2 al teem up it sownds exiting we shud go Phone: Translation: I'm despratly hoping this helps my career Barbie: wot abowt teh delusiv chantuse am sure nekci wuld lvu u to go Phone: Translation: im a compulsive sociopath and i want to ster shit Barbie: ok how do i turn dis gizmo off Phone: translation: im cluless and its abowt time i retired or died Clara: shure il join u the more the *zooms in to her face* merier Cher: hi Barbie: omg quen fucking slay me hunty u look 3 months old yass Cher: dunt maek this weird... wana buy a boby *blo ive aka hibo enters in a boby burka* Barbie: not masively Cher: its blak and cheep Barbie: go on Cher: shes brot me nuthen but bad luk sinse i legitimately borrowed her with consent even i was guna cancel floped Barbie: and the child u adopted being cursed is teh only possibel esplanation Cher: is that somhow funy Barbie: god no Cher: so i'll teke £5 Barbie: thing is tho, ive been accused of buying bayonses boby before if i actuly did it she mite b lyke slitly anoyed u no Cher: ok do u relly wanna do dis the hard way Cher: the last washed up songer that got in my wey ended up quite literaly washed up Barbie: that refence went completely ovar my head Cher: i threw nicel shitsing in teh sea Barbie: o wow ok Hibo: dis bich hella crazy imma maek like merriers outfit and split Clara: u meen split lyke ur parents u littel shit Clara: um luvly littel child Susie: ur all disgracful i no bayonse is a wanker 2 everyone but there are better than murderin pussy cat dolls and abusing babies Clara, Barbie and Cher: there are? Susie: every1 into the url badman balon Barbie: yull hav 2 help me wich is teh baloon and which is meriers arse Susie: acually merier u shud go and find blo ive Clara: and maybe sum digntity Clara: perhaps a fan Barbie: piss urself Susie: ill teke that as a yes --Team 3 Lady Ratchet, Ginger Vitis, Lily Summers and Cleopatra De Boer as Nekci, Rhenna, Gags and Brinty, Episode 1-- Ginger fingers herself violently "why do we get the shity episode one fuck u lady you chose the shitty cleo and lily summers" Cleo snaps her finger "i've 99 problems and u aint one bitch, i have one win under my belt - wtf do u have." Ginger glares at Cleo "fuck you im not working with you" Lady Ratchet rolls her eyes "Really, queen? We need to get this done." ginger headbutts her, knocking her out "no. and team three is disqualified. They all strut down the runway in their sexy nekci outfits. Ruba stand up "team 3, you were an utter disgrace, you are by far the four we are considering to be evicted, however, Team 1. You're safe, and Team 2 is our winning team!!! team two finger themselves violently as Clara and Barbie awkwardly hug. --barbie in confession- "Maybe the bitch isnt SO bad xxx" --judge room-- "but one queen wiped the floor with the competition - condragulations Barbie Buckfast you are the winner of this week you have a free burger king meal." Barbie screams in excitement and fingers herself before breaking down, crying. "I've just never been a winner so this is a great oppurtunity thank you i love you so much" Clara bends over and lesbon kisses barbie with tongues and they create a huge unbreakable scissor sister bond, fingering eachother on the runway. "Everyone else in team one, you are safe." They all exit leaving Lady Ratchet, Lily Summers, Ginger Vitis and Cleopatra on stage. --confession-- Lady Ratchet: I don't deserve to be here!!! I'm a fucking icon!!!!" --on stage-- "Lily Summers, you're safe, hunty." "Now, i heard the argument was between Ginger and Cleopatra, so, I'm sorry my darlings, but you two are in the bottom two, Lady Ratchet, You're safe." Lady runs off the stage, falling over, breaking her dick as the queens lip song to 'I Am Yuor Leader' by Nekci Menij. Ginger generically rips off all her clothing as Cleopatra dances like a fucking queen. "Fuck off, Ginger. We all know you stole Barbara's goldfish, now fucking give her it back!!! also leave" Ginger punches barbara, breaking her jaw, and leaves promptly. "if u cunt lvu urself how in da hek u gona luv urself? AMEN ME PLS" "AAAAMEN" Category:Drag Race